R.O.S.S. Movement – A Love Story
Stan in I were introduced by a mutual friend in the summer of 1992 when we felt our lives filled with possibilities and destined for the kind of happiness and success which we both thought naturally flowed from hard work and adherence to the values each had grown up with. Our joy overflowed and we believed the future of our life together lay in our hands.
When Stan and I married on May 1, 1993, we knew that we wanted to have a family with children. This was Stan’s first marriage, my second, and being five years older than Stan, in my late 30’s, we knew that we would begin trying to conceive right away.
Stan was already established in a successful medical practice and God had gifted both of us with an abundance of blessings and resources we knew would benefit our desire to raise perfect children destined to become healthy, productive adults. A successful family life, as we knew it, was ours to seize!
We were so excited to begin living our well-thought-out plans. It would all be easy and wonderful, after all, we had everything including, most importantly, personal relationships with Jesus Christ who, we both knew, had brought us together as man and wife, and who promised, in Psalms 37, to give us the “desires of our heart”.
After trying for about a year to conceive with no success, we were disappointed that our plans were not coming together as quickly and easily as we had hoped. But, we were not discouraged and, upon the advice of our physician, agreed to give an infertility procedure known as ‘GIFT’, gamete intra-fallopian transfer, a try. The procedure was very invasive and expensive, but we strongly believed in our souls that children would be part of our life together.
The procedure was unsuccessful the first time, and as we readied ourselves to try again, uncertainty began to creep into our minds. We found ourselves turning more and more to prayer, individually and as a couple. We both began to experience a deeper, closer relationship with God and a new reality of how little control we had. We regularly attended the church where I had become rooted as a child. The teaching of the pastor and bible study became more of a priority and new questions begin to surface in our hearts including Had we really surrendered our lives to God? Did our lives ultimately belong to us—or to God to do as He willed?
Our second GIFT procedure was successful, we were relieved and overjoyed. But these emotions were short lived as we were soon informed that the pregnancy health was not proceeding as needed and my body would naturally abort the fetus. I felt deeply sad, defeated, hopeless and angry at God for seemingly saying, “No!” again to our plan. T
his news came by way of an unexpected phone call from my doctor on a beautiful, late August day in 1995 while Stan happily worked outside doing the lawn work he enjoyed. I hysterically called out to him and as he quickly ran in and came to understand the changing circumstances, he quietly pulled to himself as he lifted his voice in a heartfelt prayer of thanksgiving and faith, ending his surprising response by admonishing me to trust that God, most certainly, had a more perfect plan for our lives…plans laid before either of us were formed in our mother’s womb…before time was God knew the future He had for us! Peace followed Stan’s prayer. And soon the Holy Spirit of God opened our eyes and heart to His will for our lives. We watched in awesome wonder as God created our family.
In November of 1995, Stan I brought home our first son, named Ross Stanley Givens. We loved him at first sight and knew that we were born to be his parents. The adoption was made final just six weeks later during the glorious holiday season as we celebrated the birth of Jesus. Ross had been born on August 6, 1995, as we yet prayed and trusted God for our family.
Our beloved second son, named Scott Benjamin Givens, came to us in October of 1996 having been born on July 8, 1996. Both Stan and I felt as if our hearts would burst open in praise and thanksgiving as we held Scott in our arms for the first time. Scott’s adoption was made final in November of 1996. God had blessed us with two miracles—Ross and Scott Givens! Joy and happiness overflowed in our home—day after day, year after year, as we marveled in the beautiful, perfect way God had made our family!
Very soon thereafter, while still babies, Stan and I dedicated their lives to God before the church assembly and, when they reached the age of confessing Christ as the head of their lives, our Pastor, called Stan to baptize them in the name of The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Stan, Scott and I experienced the worse possible loss on February 11, 2015, when our beloved son and brother, Ross Stanley Givens, left this world suddenly at the age of nineteen. We will never forget the sound of his voice or the feel of his hugs and kisses.
Ross was an incredible, handsome “one of a kind” young man who touched the lives of many during his short time on this earth. His family and friends have come together in their grief to form The R.O.S.S. Movement, Inc. The mission statement of this group of young adults reads: To facilitate the journey towards a healthy, productive and purposeful life. Yes! Our hearts are broken into a million pieces, but even in the darkness of our loss, we remember God’s marvelous light. God created our beautiful family for all eternity—Stan, Martha, Ross and Scott together forever and ever.
Mommy and Daddy talked to God one day
Their hearts were lonely as they started to pray-
They thanked God for their blessings,
For His love that never ends-
They thanked Him for their family
And their many, many friends-
They asked God to send a baby,
A precious girl or boy
A child to share their hopes and dreams,
A child to share their joy.
And as they prayed their loneliness began
To go away
And Mommy and Daddy trusted God
To send their child someday
For months, their prayers were not answered,
Or so, it seemed to be-
But God had already answered their prayers
In ways they could not see-
For God had just been waiting
Before time had began
Before He placed the moon and stars
Before He placed the sun-
Waiting for Mommy and Daddy
To pray that special prayer-
Waiting to finally bless them
With joy beyond compare
For God had chosen a baby
Waiting in Heaven above
Soon to be born a miracle
Of His creative love-
But, he was born to another mommy
And how she loved him so-
But felt she could not keep him
And, in love, she let him go-
Now, this other mommy felt alone
And heartbroken too-
And with tears in her eyes
She fell to her knees-
She knew what she must do-
She lifted her heart towards heaven,
And cried to God above-
She asked Him to choose two parents
To give her child their love-
And as she prayed her painful tears
Began to go away-
And that mommy trusted God
To bless her child someday-
Now, God had just been waiting
Before time had begun-
Before He placed the moon and stars-
Before He placed the sun-
Waiting for that mommy
To pray that special pray
Waiting to bless that baby
With love beyond compare-
(Taken from *1997 Mommy and Daddy’s Special Blessing)