My son, Blake Cadwalader, is 26 years old. I and my ex-husband adopted him as a newborn. My ex-husband worked with a man whose father was a minister and knew my son’s birth mother, Lisa, from the job where she worked. He had spoken with her. She was a single mom with a 5-year-old and knew she could not afford to take care of another child.
We were connected with her and spoke by phone. Blake’s birth-mother asked if she could speak with my mother to see if she would approve of the grandmother-to-be. Once she spoke with her she approved for us to go forward with the adoption.
We hired 2 attorneys–one for her and one for us for the adoption. We had to move quickly since we had 6 weeks to do the home study.
When Lisa went into labor she called me to meet her at the hospital and bring the grandmother-to-be. Lisa allowed us to watch the birth of my son and requested that he be put in my arms as soon as he was born. It was a beautiful moment.
She only stayed at the hospital the minimum time. She came to the nursery to watch me with him and talk to me. She was required to come back to the hospital to make her final decision to walk him out of the hospital, which was a very difficult moment.
She was required to hold my son and hand him to me. That was a very moving and loving moment.
We did not hear from her for years. The judge told her “no contact”. The adoption was closed. I’m guessing she told her attorney that was best for her.
When my son, Blake, was 13, his birth brother, Ryan, called my home and asked me if there was anyway he could meet my son. He was joining the Army and they would like to meet him. I agreed that it was OK.
My son was a bit distant at first and did not see him again for a while. When my son turned 16, Ryan once again came to the house. They tried then to have a more bonded relationship. Blake met his birth mother around age 17. To this day he has a good relationship with both his birth-mother and brother.
His brother will try to say, “our mother” to Blake. He will politely say, “You mean Lisa? I love her but Kathy is my Mom.”
I love my son very much. He’s the greatest gift from God and his birth-mother, Lisa.
–Kathy Hare, Evansville, Indiana